Life Transitions: When Excitement and Anxiety Exist Together
Life transitions often bring a mix of excitement, fear, exhaustion, irritation, and uncertainty. Whether the change involves a new career, retirement, a shift in relationship status, starting or ending college, marriage, divorce, becoming a parent, or moving, there is no single right way to navigate it.
Even positive change can feel destabilizing. Transitions tend to stir up our inner world, activating parts of us that worry, plan, doubt, or try to stay in control. That doesn’t mean something is wrong. It means something important is happening.
Moving: When Things Gets Stirred Up
Moving is a powerful example of how life transitions activate both hope and anxiety.
One part of me feels excited about a new chapter, anticipation, possibility, adventure. At the same time, other parts show up with stress, panic, and overthinking. These experiences don’t cancel each other out, they coexist.
There’s often a pause before forward momentum begins, a space filled with anticipation and uncertainty. This “in-between” phase is where anxiety tends to spike.
Decisions, Logistics, and Mental Overload
Transitions are emotional and practical.
Moving involves constant decision-making:
What do we keep and what do we let go?
When do we move?
Should we rent or buy?
What can we comfortably afford?
Beneath the logistics are deeper questions:
What kind of life do we want to create?
Do we value space or simplicity?
Comfort or flexibility?
Being house-poor or financially free?
When the stakes feel high and outcomes are unclear, anxiety and overthinking often increase.
The hardest part of change is often living in uncertainty before things settle.
Anticipatory Anxiety and the Need for Control
Many people struggle not with change itself, but with not knowing how things will turn out.
During transitions, there are many moving parts and limited control, banks, utilities, movers, timelines, finances, and people we rely on. Parts of us that crave certainty or control tend to get louder during this phase.
Trusting the process is hard when so much feels up in the air. But uncertainty doesn’t mean danger, and rough waters don’t last forever.
Supporting Yourself During a Transition
Grounding your nervous system matters more than “getting it right.”
Helpful supports include:
Keeping familiar routines where possible
Pacing yourself and lowering expectations
Eating well, moving your body, and prioritizing sleep
Staying connected to supportive people
Letting go of what’s outside your control
Tapping into spiritual or grounding practices
Most importantly, don’t ignore what’s happening inside.
Understanding Your Inner “Parts”
Using Internal Family Systems (IFS), we talk about parts, aspects of us that take on roles to manage stress or protect us.
Common parts that show up during life transitions include:
The Overthinker
The Controller
The Doubter
The Inner Critic
These parts aren’t the problem. They’re often trying to help.
Like young children, when parts feel ignored or overwhelmed, they tend to get louder. Turning inward, even briefly, can help them settle.
A Simple Grounding Practice: NAB
A gentle way to reconnect during stressful moments is NAB:
Notice when a part shows up, often first in the body, such as a racing heartbeat, tight chest, or twisting in the gut.
Acknowledge – Name the feeling or part without judgment.
Breathe – Slow your breath and create space.
Example:
You notice the tightening in your chest or rapid heartbeat.
You acknowledge: “I see you worried, overthinking part. You’re not alone, I’ve got this, there is no danger.”
You breathe slowly, offering reassurance rather than trying to fix or silence it.
Even a minute of mindful attention can help your nervous system shift toward calm.
Moving Through Change with More Compassion
Life transitions will always involve uncertainty. The goal isn’t to eliminate fear or anxiety, but to relate to them differently.
When you meet yourself with curiosity, patience, and kindness, change becomes more manageable, and often more meaningful.
Support for Life Transitions
If you’re navigating a life transition and feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or emotionally unsettled, therapy can help you move through this season with greater clarity and steadiness.
Learn more about my approach to Life Transitions Therapy and how I support adults navigating change.
Author Note
I’m a licensed therapist who works with adults navigating anxiety, emotional overwhelm, relationship stress, and life transitions. My approach integrates Internal Family Systems (IFS), mindfulness, and mind-body strategies to support greater calm, clarity, and self-trust, especially during times of change.
If you’re navigating a life transition and finding it harder than expected, you don’t have to do it alone. Therapy can offer a supportive space to slow down, make sense of what’s happening inside, and move forward with greater clarity and steadiness.
